SO YOU WANT TO GET CUCKED

Your boyfriend has no idea that you want to see him have sex with another man.

You don’t know where the desire came from. You don’t even really remember when it started. When you and Frank first met you were completely committed to the idea of monogamy, and you’ve stayed that way for the whole six years you’ve been together so far. That’s how relationships are supposed to work, right? 

It’s not like open relationships are a completely foreign concept, and gay men are notoriously comfortable with non-monogamy. Of course you know couples that are open. You always respected it as an entirely normal and reasonable choice, in theory, even if it’s not for you. And once or twice, early on in your relationship, the topic of being open did come up in conversation. Only as a hypothetical though, it wasn’t like either of you were actually looking for permission. But at the time you’d shut it down real quick — or maybe it was him who’d shut it down, you can’t remember. Either way, you know that the two of you are committed. Exclusive.

That’s why you haven’t brought it up before. Even though the hottest sex you have these days is when you’re fucking your own hand picturing Frank on his knees with a fat cock in his mouth that isn’t yours. 

It’s not like you don’t still have a good sex life. You do, it’s great. It’s satisfying. It’s still once a week at least, which is pretty good going for a couple that’s been together as long as you two have. But lately, the rush you get busting your nut thinking about him with someone else has become more intense than the one you get having sex with him. You’ve saved a bunch of porn clips on your browser starring guys  that resemble him; they’re your go-to jack-off material now, so you can watch that guy who looks like him fucking someone who doesn’t look like you. And ever since you discovered that this was a real kink — one that you share with a whole community of guys and is not just a product of your uniquely messed-up brain — you’ve started to spend more of your time watching cuckold porn. Imagining that your boyfriend is the one having sex, and you’re the one sitting there watching with your dick in your hand.

It feels wrong not telling Frank any of this. But you haven’t had the balls to do it, because you’re too worried about how he’ll react. You’re worried he’ll be hurt. You’re worried that he’ll think he’s not enough for you. You’re worried he’ll think that you’re willing to risk losing him to another man, and that it means you’re not as invested in the relationship as he thought you were. 

If this was just a passing thought it would be fine. But lately you’ve found yourself thinking about it all the time. You feel it weighing on you. You feel dishonest by not just saying what it is you’re thinking. And you can’t help thinking that maybe, as crazy as it seems, if you said something you might be able to make your fantasy a reality. 

And you can’t help thinking that that if you don’t say something, maybe you’re both missing out on a whole world of possibilities.

So you’ve decided you’re going to say something. When the moment’s right.